Portland dating blog

They complain about how the "Portland Man" will never ask them out, never approach them, and if you want to date them YOU have to ask them—as if this a giant cross to bear. People here don't care about gender roles of heteronormativity, and just like the gay world, there is no script for Portland dating.

Single, but dating a few different people. Online editor of Bitch , media host of the podcast Popaganda. Author of Sex from Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules. One of the biggest things I learned writing Sex from Scratch is to be more honest. But if you never respond to someone's texts, you're going to end up seeing them at New Seasons four times that month, and then you'll have to hide in the bulk aisle.

You could just be straight up about it and say, "You're great, but I don't want to go on more dates with you. See you in the bulk aisle.


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There's one girl who lives really close to me, and every time I see her I believe in marriage again. Anytime we stop and talk, I feel percent better about myself. And I know it sounds corny as fuck, but I feel warmer just by being near her. We went on a few dates, but our first date is my all-time favorite date. We walked around neighborhoods in Northeast. But she's kind of flaky, and ultimately I always felt like I was the only one pushing to hang out again.

So every few months or so, I see her. We talk, I feel those feelings, take a shot and text her, we make plans, but something comes up and she can't make it. I've lived that loop a few times over. There was actually one kind of cool resolution moment though.

Dating State of the Union

I was walking to get lunch and passed by her place. She was outside having a yard sale. We exchanged some banter and when I told her I was going to get food, she asked me to come up to her place for a bagel—and I told her, "I need more than that. That moment felt very "movie moment," like a scene from an early Bruce Willis romcom.

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I don't think she caught all that. Cisgender female, primarily straight, in Portland a year and a half, single about six months. Not my scene, but I like the enthusiasm. My biggest complaint about the Portland dating pool is that it's small. Like, if you hook up with anyone, you WILL see them again. While you're out running errands. And it will be awkward. When I first started dating again after the end of a long-term relationship, one of my friends warned me about this, and she was so right.

Blog | Alexis Meads | Dating Coach and Dating Expert | Portland Oregon

I'm warning you, too. Female, non-identifying, four-year Portland resident, single. That way you won't end up with some gun-loving weirdo. But also, just because someone has a 99 percent compatibility with you online, it doesn't mean they'll laugh at your brilliantly stupid puns, or support your desire to enact guerrilla-style sketch comedy in the middle of the street with strangers.

Online dating doesn't do it for me. Or it hasn't yet, anyway.

Dating in Portland & Date Ideas

I have been on one Tinder date, ever , and it was so fucking boring that I haven't done it since. It felt sort of like being kidnapped. You know things are bad when you find yourself fake-laughing at a guy's unfunny joke, while remembering Amy Poehler's advice to teenage girls not to laugh at a boy's joke if it isn't funny, and then realizing the reach of internalized patriarchy it's in you!

I think if you're going to online date in Portland, you should be pretty direct about what you want in your profile. I think mine says something really dickish like, "If you use LOL as punctuation or enjoy sending shirtless mirror selfies, save us both the trouble.

But I get a much more self-selecting pool of applicants. IRL meet-ups are my typical MO, because this is such a small town. You probably have a long-term Portland crush: You follow each other on IG and Twitter, and you pay attention when it looks like they're seeing someone.

A little dance I like to call: The Social Media Long Game. It's a good way to find something that sticks. I liked online dating for many years in the sense of starting off with many questions answered that can never be known in real life. Such as, I know this dude is gay, his age, and a little bit about his interests.


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But I recently deleted my OkStupid account entirely. Now that I don't have that crutch, I find myself being pushed to make moves in real life when I wouldn't normally. That was the discovery, whereas before I would notice someone and NOT make a move, even if it was just saying "hi," because I'd think I'd just roll through profiles on my phone later. I want to meet a real person in real life. I'm out there playing soccer with eligible bachelors because a I want to meet real people, and b I'm being scouted by the Timbers.

I just joined Tinder for the first time two weeks ago, because I'm super busy these days, and not looking for a long-term boyfriend or relationship. I want to date around and have a good time, and Tinder seems like a good place for that. I've had positive experiences with the app. I've also heard a lot of horror stories, but none of that happened to me. I wasn't inundated with dick pics. I've had good conversations about books, technology, gender, and dating in Portland over messages.

Tinder feels very public—and that's good and bad. I didn't get on it for a long time because I'm a private person, and it felt like raising a flag to say, "I'm single, I'm dating. Portland feels like a small town. If you're on Tinder, people are going to tell your coworkers and friends, or people are going to run into you on the street and say, "I know you from Tinder.

But dating around shouldn't be embarrassing. I had to ask myself, "Am I ashamed that I'm single or that I'm dating? A "successful" person is in a long-term monogamous relationship, and that's screwed up in a lot of ways. Society instills a lot of shame around dating. Straight male, five-year Portland resident, currently single.

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Author of Swipe Right: My dating advice for guys on Tinder would be stop trying to "hook up. It's a silly app. Just keep it light, have fun, and get her number so you can meet in person to see if you two click.

ASSUMPTION: DATING IN PORTLAND IS VASTLY DIFFERENT THAN DATING IN OTHER CITIES

I think, for the most part, Portlanders are more open-minded about polyamory and monogamish relationships than other places in this country. I think it's because of the more progressive views here, and that Portland is or at least was a place for misfits and weirdos. We're more accepting of folks doing things outside the norm. We have classes on open relationships at She Bop, and that can be a great place to start. I also would recommend doing some soul-searching and trying to figure out what you truly want.

But our usual "Anonymous" rules apply: You know you've got a great dating story one that went good, bad, or very weird so share it with all of us right here at the Portland Dating Dispatch! Suite , Portland, OR Subscribe to The Portland Mercury 's newsletter Subscribe. You might also be interested in these: Then I couldn't get them out of my apartment. How Could That Impact the Census? Newsletters Sign up for the latest news and to win free tickets to events. Mercury Ticketing Buy tickets to events around Portland.

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